My Sweet Boy,
From before the time your little heart started beating,
you have held mine in the palm of your hand.
I can’t be sure if I gave it willingly or if you took it by force, but it
beats there, pumping the greatest of all love into hands that will always be
little to me, suffusing your flesh, filling your soul. Sometimes in the dark of night when I have
taken to my bed in fatigue, confident that I would nod off before my head hit
the pillow, I find my mind filled with tender thoughts of you, of your hopes
and mine for you, of your successes and failures, of my worries and of a magnificent,
eternal love. These eyes, so reluctant
to cry, sometimes brim over with tears during quiet reflection of you.
Our moment together is coming to an end. Soon you will leave me, go out into the
world, make your own life, and find a new love.
You are my life’s work; I hope that I have loved you well enough, said
what you needed to hear and taught you what is right. For a few years you will
still be able to reach for me when you need mothering, but someday I will be
gone from here and your memory will grow old.
These are the things I want you to always remember.
Do not drift.
This
world is unfriendly to boys and men. It
will tell you that you are superfluous in the lives of your own children, that
you are unnecessary in the running of your home, that you are stupid, reckless,
and incompetent, a victim of your gender.
Never believe it. This world
needs you to be a man of faith, a man that can be counted on to know what is
right and to do it. You’ve been a
student of these things throughout your life.
Hold tight to what you know and do not drift.
Do hard things.
Already
in your young life you have long term goals and dreams for your future. You want to write things that matter, run
like the wind, dance in the sunlight, create beauty, learn everything, and make
others smile; you want to conquer the world.
You will find that nothing worth doing comes easily. Your words will come clumsily, your
hamstrings will ache, your feet will stumble, your paint will run, you will not
understand, and people will cry. You
will have to do the same thing over and over again. It will be difficult, it will hurt, at times
you will want to quit. Do it
anyway. Learn to struggle, to overcome,
and to appreciate the way the whole process makes you better.
Go about doing good.
Do
you remember the snow shovel? The
gratitude your use of it inspired? Do
you remember the warmth that you felt even while you froze inside of your boots
and gloves? Any time you need to be
anchored, fall back on that feeling. Seek out opportunities to give, don’t overlook
the simple things. Smiles and friendly
words are often the greatest acts of service we can perform. Remember the Savior and make him your example,
do as he did.
Treat women well.
I
don’t have to cast my mind back very far to remember you, with your tiny hand
in your father’s large one, tugging on the handle of my car door to open it,
reaching your stubby arm in to take my hand and help me out. Those tiny hands and stubby arms have grown
long and lean. Still I see them, pulling
my car door handle, reaching in to help me out.
I’ve watched you push open doors for little girls, and take elderly
women by the arm. I hope you always do
these things. Every girl, every woman
you meet is a daughter of the King.
Strive to treat her accordingly. In
this way you can change a woman’s life , you can teach a girl her own
value. I promise you can. Son, always, always, treat women well.
Be
a man of virtue and integrity.
This
world we live in will try to teach you that you are not required to reign in
your impulses; that keeping your word is optional, and that basic honesty to
yourself and others is unimportant. Don’t
give in to the temptation to cheat, steal, or sneak just a little. Like your once small hands, these things will
grow. Guard your honesty and morality
jealously. Make certain that you can be
trusted with tasks, belongings, and hearts.
Be a man of virtue and integrity.
Remember
who you are.
You
are a son, a brother, a friend. You are
a student and a teacher, a leader and a follower. You will be a husband and a
father. You are Eddie. You are
Scott. You are Evan. You are Jesse. You are Ross.
You are my heart. You are a son
of God. During the course of your life,
when you are bombarded with messages of your own irrelevance, remember who you
are.
General
Douglas MacArthur once prayed, “Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong
enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is
afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and
gentle in victory.” I echo his
sentiments with all of my heart and hopes for you.
I
love you.
Mom
